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Friday, June 26, 2015

Fearing Modernity in Modern Times Leads to Radicalism

*Warning*: I'm going to be completely honest in this post, and if you think you'll be offended, stop reading now or grow a pair.

Us Muslims have a real problem. A huge one. And this problem does not exist in all of us, but it exists in enough of us that it has considerable consequences on the rest of humanity, Muslim or not. I woke up to three reports of terrorist attacks on three different places around the world just this morning alone. Not to mention the attacks that happen on a daily basis in ISIS and Al Qaeda controlled territories. Not to mention the growing movement towards radicalization and extremism that cannot be denied. This problem did not suddenly exist, but is rooted in the way many Muslims are taught Islam throughout their childhood and into adulthood. 

I'll call this problem the fear of modernity and interpretive studies. Meaning as Muslims, we are so scared to offend our holy texts and our cultures that it has become extremely difficult for us to stand back, take a look at our community and offer constructive criticism lest we get accused of blasphemy. There is no doubt that the Quran has many violent verses. That is not something I am ashamed of nor is it something that should be erased from Islam and our history. There is also no doubt however, that those verses came down for a specific time and place and cannot be applied across the board unless those same exact situations are replicated today. These verses came down at times of war to set guidelines for the battleground and not to mercilessly and, excuse the harshness of the word, idiotically wage wars against our fellow human beings. 

This is clear to many Muslims of course. But it also unclear to far way too many Muslims and that is exactly how terrorists use Islam to justify their political violence. Using verses that have been sent down for situations long gone or have been sent as guidelines for situations that do not currently exist in today's world. This does not only apply to verses about war, but to slavery, the taking in of concubines and other practices that existed in pre, and post, Islamic culture at the time of the Prophet Mohamed pbuh that do not and should not exist today.   

But the problem does not stop only at verses relating to those three topics. This fear of looking at the Quran and Islamic culture critically in order to better ourselves and our communities exists with every controversial topic, verse and hadith (teachings of the prophet that have been recorded through word of mouth) that there is. I can tell you that there are Muslims reading this right now thinking that I'm an apostate, unworthy of the title "Muslim" because I dared point out that Muslims have a problem. I am probably being thought of as an innovator (which surprisingly is used as an insult meaning someone who tries to modernize Islam) and someone out there is wondering why I'm speaking out of line because I am not a scholar. Except Islam wasn't sent down for scholars. Islam was sent down for regular folk, and if us regular folk are not given the room to take a closer look at our own religion, then it is not a religion at all. It then becomes a tool of exploitation supported and rooted in hierarchy. If you are not an imam or a religious scholar, shut up and follow blindly. Right? Is that not what we are told basically? That because we are not scholars that we have no right to be critical? That we are in no place to make observations based on one of the obvious causations of terrorism within the Islamic context? Many Muslims today shy away from looking deeper into their religion in case they find something they don't like. That was me. I was so scared to read up on controversial topics because I knew, as a woman who does not accept illogical stances and backward practices, I would find many things in my religion that would raise important questions. Questions I did not have the answers to neither was I so sure I wanted to know the answers to in the first place. Why? Because then I might just want to take a critical look at the text I follow as a Muslim which, to many people, would be me overstepping my boundaries not just as a follower of the religion, but as a woman. We are told that the Quran is adaptable to all times and is relevant to all people, but at the same time told that the Quran cannot be interpreted to fit our lives today because then we are "modernizing" it. Except how can we shy away from modernity if we ourselves live in the modern world. No one here today was alive at the time of the prophet and we cannot recreate a world that existed a thousand plus years ago. Neither should we want to. 

Many young Muslims stop practicing Islam, or leave Islam all together, because we have been taught to fear criticism. We go up in flames when non Muslims point out the obvious and when we ourselves do it we are accused of being non believers (which I've been accused of regularly). We are told that the Quran leaves no room for human interpretation while reading verses through which Allah, time after time, tells us to use our brains. To think. To reflect. To read. To educate ourselves. So which is it? Do we hold back our own questions and criticisms in fear that some Muslims will ostracize us, or do we do what Allah told us to do and use the brain He gave us? We do not have to change the Quran or throw away our cultures, but what we can do is stop shying away from asking questions and looking at different interpretations and contexts of controversial, and even non controversial, topics within Islam to further understand the religion we practice. Just as there is an obvious move towards radicalization, there has to be a move towards engaging in dialogues that include all Muslims regardless of background and sect, and not just scholars and imams. If we do not start taking a critical look at our current practices and interpretations we will never move forward. Terrorism is not something that can be fought through wars waged by non Muslims who do not know our culture, but through our own efforts to start a much needed discussion on how Islam has been taught to us and how it will be taught to future generations. 

Thursday, June 4, 2015

A Friendly Reminder

Your car isn't the latest model. Her clothes aren't the most sought after designs. That couple's wedding NEEDS to be at an expensive venue. Her dress NEEDS to cost thousands or else she won't be happy that she's marrying the "love of her life". He NEEDS that vacation to some island in the Caribbean. He NEEDS to waste more money on alcohol. I NEED to buy that pair of shoes. I NEED the newest phone. I NEED NEED NEED. A needy culture blinded by consumerism. The more we consume, the higher we are on the social pyramid. The more we buy, the more we can flaunt. The more we can prove we're part of a class "everyone" wants to be a part of.

On the flip side of that picture are the hundreds of thousands of people who don't have a place to live, water to drink, food to eat, medicine for their illnesses, basic education for their children, plumbing for their waste etc etc etc. All very basic human needs that we take for granted. There are people trying to escape dangerous situations to provide a better future for their children as we speak, only to see them drown in oceans that have already claimed the lives of many once hopeful refugees. 

But it's not our business. We don't have to worry about it. We are blessed. The chosen ones, right? We forget that humanity is all one big family. That we are all sisters and brothers. That the pain of one relative should at least draw some of our attention. Unfortunately, many of us are too blinded by our own lifestyles and the lifestyles we admire to notice those in need. Imagine if reality TV shows were about people who lived in horrible conditions. What if the media always bombarded us with things we need to see in order to help our family? Instead, we watch "reality" TV shows about celebrities with plastic surgery and tons of money, slowly being brainwashed into thinking that this is what our life needs to look like. We start thinking that we need to work towards that lifestyle and only then are we accomplished and successful. That in order to be special we need to consume more than we will ever need. 

Not only that, but many of us think our time here on earth is purely for our enjoyment. That we are here to have fun and when our time is up, the fun's over. Each struggle we face, no matter how small, doesn't and shouldn't belong in our lives. That struggling is inconvenient, holding us back from "happiness" or consumerism. If we're struggling and don't have lots of money we can't consume as much as we're trained to consume. So we live our lives trying to reach a standard of living that is everything but "standard" and nothing but unnecessary. We die and our children inherit the same lifestyle. The cycle continues from one generation to the next and so on. 

Except it has to end sometime right? We all have to wake up one day. Realize that thousand dollar watches and million dollar mansions aren't actually necessary when there are people who need only a fraction of that money to gain access to basic human needs. If anything is necessary, it's our own reevaluation of our lifestyles, goals and contributions to the world we live in. I say this not to preach, but as a reminder to myself before anyone else, that the world needs us to be aware of our surroundings. Even more importantly, we need to be aware of one another's struggles. Educating ourselves is the least we can do and hopefully one day we all have the means to have a proactive stance. But it all starts with a determined intent to change. It starts with realizing that many of our efforts need to be redirected at contributing rather than just consuming. Maybe we can start with getting rid of aspects of our lives that do nothing to advance humanity, no matter how insignificant we think those changes might be. Some positive change is better than no positive change at all. 

I'm also not saying this to argue that consumerism is all wrong. What is wrong is consuming so much that we forget to give back. The technology we use and the means we have can be put to better use. For example, we can work on raising awareness about important issues, talk to different people from around the world to see their perspectives, look for trustworthy charities to donate to, educate ourselves etc. We can use our resources to mobilize against corruption and to work towards a conscious society that is there for one another. A society that doesn't feed off one another's misery and exploitation, but on each other's positivity and encouragement. 

Just something to ponder:

"Indeed, Allah enjoins justice, and the doing of good to others; and giving like kindred; and forbids indecency, and manifest evil, and wrongful transgression. He admonished you that you may take heed" (Quran 16:91) 

"Give to the near of kin his due, and also to the needy and the wayfarers. Do not squander your wealth wastefully; for those who squander wastefully are Satan's brothers, and Satan is ever ungrateful to his Lord" (Quran 17:26- 27)

"Indeed, Allah does not like those who are self-deluding and boastful. Who are stingy and enjoin upon [other] people stinginess and conceal what Allah has given them of His bounty - and We have prepared for the disbelievers a humiliating punishment -" (Quran 4:36-37) 


Sunday, May 31, 2015

The Anchor

You're the truth my soul yearns for
The anchor these storms need
My moods like violent waves
My mind like weeds in the breeze 
I close my eyes imagining
Your presence in times of despair
When there's nothing left but quietly whispered prayers 
I kneel in weakness
To be delivered with divine strength
Warm tears slowly crawling down my face
I hope this connection never phases out
That this signal never fades
And no matter where the waves take me
I'm still protected by your embrace 
I've failed to conjure the words needed
To fully explain my love for you
For through the anger, the doubt and distrust
You've never walked away
Through my ignorance and young negligence 
Through my pride and insolence 
Through many questions and apparent dissonance 
Still in my picture you've stayed
Still on my heart you lingered
Still my soul for you reached
Only to find warm open hands
Never once have I been turned away
Never once did my sins on my spirit weigh
Without your hands lifting me up
Removing the burden I've failed to carry 
When all is said and done
No matter where life takes me
And where death finds my last living day
To you I pray
My Lord to you I pray 





Sunday, May 24, 2015

Out Loud

Caught up in society's madness
Uncontrollable love for freedom
I sit beneath this tree thinking of a time I'll be able to breathe without guilt
That maybe the movement of my chest while I inhale and exhale has disturbed the peace

They told me I want to be too free
That a free woman is nothing but trouble
That I'm that trouble and the path I walk is one undesirable by "the culture"
As if freedom is a threat and their life is what's on the line

"You won't get married
This path leads to Hell
God is angry at you
Your mother and your father too
Walk the way you do and you'll give them reason to rape you
Is this what freedom means to you?"

Words I hear and try to ignore
But these words are like sticks and stones
Pins and needles slowly bursting my bubble and killing my vibe
Fear the status quo
Conform to their standards
Tribe mentality 
Survival of the most silent

But I am loud
I think out loud
I dance out loud
I riot out loud 
I don't tread quietly
Never have and never will
  

Thursday, May 14, 2015

I love you woman

I love you woman
Love the way your moods swing from branch to branch 
Free from faking stability
Independently insane and forever passionate
Like flames you give light while burning away
I love you woman

Love the way your tears trickle down your face whether it be in sorrow or in joy
If trickle down economics worked the same way 
Well let's just say there'd be more trickling and less down
I love you woman

Love the way your insecurities blossom into confidence 
Like an ebb and flow of courage 
It's ok to be weak sometimes but you still push through hard times to reach bravery's shore 
Wanting to sun bathe in soft sands of self respect
I love you woman

Love the way you look yourself in the mirror trying to perfect each lash with that mascara wand 
Walking out knowing you still not perfect but you slay anyway because hell,
Ain't nobody perfect but God and since He created you, you got some perfection in your soul
I love you woman

Love your mistakes
Those many human errors that lace the path of your life 
You walk right through them though cuz nothing or no one has the right to stop you from going where you need to be
You keep learning from each slip up cuz you believe each step makes a difference 
I love you woman 

Love your fragile heart and stubborn mind
The fire in your soul that bejewels your crown 
The patience through the pain 
The questions you ask God 
Like "why me?" but you know better than to lose faith because He who created you will never forget your presence 
I love you woman

Love how you want to change the world but find it difficult to change yourself
Seems like all the love you have is directed at everyone except what you see in your reflection
One of the reasons you find causes to fight for is cuz you're tired of fighting for yourself 
You want something bigger than your own ego, pride and dignity
Bigger than life 
I love you woman

Love the confusion your brain struggles with as you try to answer "who am I?"
How you long for acceptance through romanticism 
You want a man who'll love all of you and not just some of you
A man who'll help you carry the weight on your shoulders and dry your tears after stressful days
I love you woman

Love how you want kids of your own one day but you've taught yourself to accept the fact that God might have different plans
So you never rule adoption out the picture because what's the difference between one child and the other?
A smile is a smile anyway and holding a child's hand will always feel the same no matter the womb it has exited from
I love you woman

I love you but I forgot to love myself
Love each woman and the struggles She comes with but I have yet to love myself the same
Feeling shackled and chained by perceptions I can't control
Wanting acceptance from others I forgot to accept myself so when I say 
"I love you woman"
I am unable to add myself into that equation
So insecurity still lingers on days where I feel defeated and rejected 
Needing a poem to come hold my hand just to let me know the most important thing...


I love you woman. 

 

 
 




Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Behind Closed Doors

There's death in the Mediterranean Sea
Beheadings on the Libyan shore
Airstrikes killing children in Yemen
And Soltan starved himself for nothing; his dad won't see the light anymore
Mike Brown was a controversy.
Tamir Rice deserved to die. 
And Eric Garner was just fat so he couldn't breathe right... 
Right?  

Not to mention Syria or Palestine. Not to mention Sudan. Not to mention Nigeria's lost girls who aren't coming home. Not to mention Ebola in West Africa. Not to mention genocide in Central Africa. Not to mention gendercide in India. Not to mention students dying in Mexico. ...Not to mention... Not to mention... Not to mention...

And here disguised criminals run under pseudonyms
"Politician" the name of choice
Disguised murderers "protect" under the name of justice for All and badges of honor
K-9's get more respect here than the life of a young man in some baggy jeans and a complicated history...

Women rights. Women fight. 
Women that can't sleep because some "feminist" voted yes on a war that stole their kids in the dead of night. 
She wears her suits while T.V wants us in short skirts and sheer tights. 
What has she done to stop it?
Yea I'm talking Hillary. Not a savior even if she tried to be.
Y'all would rather criticize a rapper calling women bitches but when it comes to killing women y'all like yea fuck these brown bitches 
It seems that women rights only applies to business women, white lesbians and fake "liberal" activists  
Got me wondering what happened to the rest of our genitals...
 
And no there's nothing wrong with being gay, but if you talking human rights and in love with a war criminal I got zero respect for you
The way I view human rights is it's all inclusive
But y'all living under some kind of illusion like your rights don't apply to others 
Like these rights came with your passport and your skin color
Oh and when you bestow those rights upon us...
Savior of mankind! You know we could use some rights
You know we could use some freedom
You know we need you to unshackle these chains
Like freedom is something you can give to us
Then take away 
Cuz hey, there's a burden you bear 
You civilized man, you good hearted Christian 
I'm Mary Magdalene 
Oh won't you save me Jesus?

Except honestly I been thinking fuck religion
I love God but this institutionalism can go missing
The same way millions of our men go missing. Wars. Mass incarceration. Police shootings. Soldiers with their missiles
I fear for little boys who have nothing to look up to
Their dads are either cold hearted cuz they survived against all odds or nowhere to be found
Lost generation. 
No prize for bringing them back
No "bring back our dads"
They're gone for good. 


Sorta like that money they owe us 
Also missing. 
A product of greed and ill intentioned capitalism
No different than crazy religious extremism 
Say Allahu Akbar then you hear their lungs give out, blood spilling 
Pray at the Wailing Wall then slaughter my sisters with your Zionism 
Hallelujah. 
Jesus, even your version of peace is a nightmare
The hell you speak of exists right here and you're the cause but you're blind to it 
And heaven lies in a hungry child's dream so tell me again what's the point of your religion?

Did God ask you to kill my parents? 
Did he give you that permission? 
Did God ask you to orphan my children? 
Greed's your god
Money is your motivator. 
Don't bring Allah into this shit 
Don't talk to me about no fair skinned blond blue eyed Jesus 
And don't you dare mention some sacred, blood soaked promised land 

There's people fighting for labels they wrote on paper
There's people fighting for that damned paper 
And others fighting for the People before they're killed by some other brutal people 
Seen a child laugh and thought of a million other stolen smiles 
I try to hold on to my smile
And I promise I'll try to hold on to yours
But if one day our smiles go missing,
Blame it on what they do to us behind closed doors

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

A List of Grievances from A to Z

A is for America the beautiful. What more can you say?
B is for Bombs in Baghdad 
C is for Cops killing Children 
D is for Deportation of immigrants with false hope
E is for that Eviction note 
F is for Failing to cope
G is for those who pray to God but don't see results, starting to lose faith 
H is for Hell on earth when you realize shit don't change  
I is for mass Incarceration. Modern day concentration camps. 
J is for you must be Joking. They did what to who??
K is for Killing like it's nothing when a remote control can take thousands of lives 
L is for Low wages trynna get by with their 9 to 5's
M is for that Money they collect but won't fairly share
N is for the "Never again" that don't apply to Gaza
O is for being Over it. These people ain't shit
P is for Power hungry Politicians seizing what they can, hundreds of Political Prisoners in the land of the Pyramids 
Q is for Quarrels that have no end in sight
R is for Reading the news only to fall into low depression
S is Smoking Something to get back to higher grounds 
T is for that state sponsored Terrorism they try to hide 
U is for the Urge to fall apart, looking in the mirror and seeing Ugly
V is for Allah's promise; "Verily after hardship there is ease" 
W is for Wondering if that promise applies to you too
X is for the brutal eXtermination of unwanted populations
Y is for them Yelling but no one's listening as they get exterminated 
Z is for Zionism being that exterminator 

Monday, February 23, 2015

Trigger

Words
Trigger.
Music
Trigger.
Scents
Trigger.
Flowers
Trigger.
Dreams
Trigger.
Nightmares
Trigger.
Thoughts
Trigger.
Nails
Trigger. 
Shirt
Trigger. 
Pain
Trigger. 
Intimacy
Trigger. 
City
Trigger. 
Crepes 
Trigger. 
Horoscopes
Trigger. 
Life
Trigger. 
Insanity. Confusion. Limbo. 
Trigger. 
Gun shot. 
Killer. 

Sunday, February 22, 2015

Talking to Myself

I want to escape these feelings
I swear the more I ignore them the more they be eatin
Away at my soul and these voices in my head getting louder
It's out of control
If I reach out you start saying why you playing a victim
You think if I could get rid of these feelings I wouldn't evict em?
Like I enjoy feeling broken and under the weather
And my mom hasn't talked to me in what seems like forever
Doors shutting in my face
Where's the comfort I need when I seek it?
I don't know if God left me or was it me that walked away
Tried everything to feel better but it only led me astray
Asking myself questions like if I had a gun would I put it to my head or what I sleep with it
And if I had a razor would I cut deep or would I deal with it
Prescription pills all over my bed stand so if I wanted to I could really just say goodbye
Same way he did but I probably wouldn't be hurting nobody this time 
Cuz these friends around me right now but in a couple months they'll forget my existence 
Love was conditional
Situational
So why would friends be any better
Looking in the mirror like who is she
I can't recognize myself
I look in my eyes and I see remnants of who I used to be
I want you to remember me 
Want you to tell me stories of when I was happy 
Want you to hold my hands and caress me
They say what you love ends up destroying you
I'm already destroyed so what more can love really do?
Maybe this poetry can save me
Or maybe these thoughts gon end up enslaving me
Tied down by these invisible ropes so I don't know where to start cutting 
My legs shackled to this state of mind so how you suggest I start running?
Maybe it was all for nothing
Cuz I know you'll never understand me
You can never really feel me
All you see is a girl with an unhealthy obsession
And if I try explaining it's like I'm talking to myself 
So the voices in my head get even louder
Cuz fuck it, I'm already talking to myself...

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

What Being Muslim Means to Me

It is hard for many to understand what being Muslim means or what Islam even is especially in the wake of the rise of blatant racism against Muslims. Now disclaimer, I am neither a scholar nor do I consider myself well versed in the Sharia (Islamic laws) or the Sunnah (the life/actions of the Prophet Mohamed peace be upon him).  I’m an American Muslim who is fed up by the media’s bias coverage of Muslims and the misconceptions that are, as a result, perpetuated in society.  

To start, I would like to say that I do not apologize on behalf of others and never will I degrade myself by doing so. I will not apologize for what terrorists have done just because they share the same religion as I do. I will not apologize for being a Muslim, something I am only proud and ever thankful to be. I will not be afraid to voice my unfiltered opinion no matter how unpopular it is in mainstream culture. I will not say “not all Muslims” because it should only be obvious that we are not all one person sharing the same ideology, same as white people are not expected to apologize and condemn the countless acts of violence they have caused around the world and across the ages (America has been at war with Middle Eastern countries for ten plus years, Israel has been occupying and terrorizing Palestinians in their own land while denying them their basic human rights, the slave trade and colonialism has ruined Africa and cheated it of its natural resources, European political groups march in thousands to protest against the existence of Muslims, and let’s not forget racist groups like the KKK and Nazis etc.). Expecting Muslims to apologize and to be on the front lines condemning the actions of terrorists is, quite frankly put, ignorant and racist. The media does not interview random “white scholars” and “white preachers” to condemn the stupidity of individuals within their race and there is no reason why Muslims have to apologize and condemn others within our religion either.

As to what being Muslim means to me….

It means that I do not have to be another victim of society’s pressure, racism and expectations. Islam teaches me to stand up for myself and for those who are being oppressed. It teaches me self-respect and respect of others. Being born a Muslim means I was born a feminist and will forever remain one regardless of the misogyny that exists across cultures. My religion has protected women’s rights hundreds of years before “feminism” was even a coined term. Islam has taught me that in order to succeed I have to not only rely on prayer, but to rely on my own efforts. Being a Muslim means being practical while also making room for faith and prayer in my life. Being a Muslim has taught me to question, question, question before I blindly follow (including in matters of my religion). Being a Muslim means that I view people equally regardless of gender, race, religion, sexuality, nationality etc., because God is the only judge and He sees us from the inside out and not the other way around. Being a Muslim means that I answer to God and not to society. Being Muslim means that it is my responsibility to at least speak out against what is wrong if I cannot change it. Islam teaches me that God is merciful, but he is just, meaning those who wrong others (regardless of their religion) will one day be punished for their actions, whether it is in this lifetime or the next.

Being Muslim is a journey, an identity, an attitude, a path in life that I choose to take because it is what makes the most sense to me. There is no such thing as a perfect Muslim, and we all make mistakes, but the beauty of Islam is that it gives me chance after chance to learn from those mistakes and become a stronger and better individual. It has taken me years to appreciate my religion as I do now and it will take more years for me to improve, but as of now, the above is what being Muslim means to me, Nahla Mohamed Aboutabl. What being Muslim will, without a doubt, mean different things depending on the individual you speak to, but this is my interpretation. The media, racism, terrorists and society in general will not come between me and how I identify myself. I hope that it doesn’t come between you and the understanding of around 2 billion Muslims that share this earth with you either. Always keep in mind that we are individuals before we are a collective group. I mean isn’t that what America is all about anyway? Individuality as opposed to collectivism? Don’t be a communist ;)

And as always, peace and much love to y’all 

Thursday, January 1, 2015

Ten Lessons from 2014

I don't have resolutions for 2015 as much as I have lessons I'd like to carry on. Things I've learned over the past year that will not only make 2015 a better year for me, but will stay with me for the rest of my life. 

Lesson One: Never tolerate disrespect. No matter who it's from. A loved one or otherwise. Don't even allow yourself to show yourself disrespect. Meaning take yourself out of bad situations and act in ways where you're least likely to be disrespected. We cannot control others, but we can control our own actions. If you feel disrespected, speak out. Let it be known you will not stand for such treatment but don't wait on people to respect you. Walk away from situations where you feel you're not being treated in the way you deserve. 

Lesson Two: Love is not one sided. Stop yourself from loving someone who won't love you in the same way that you love them. It will cause you lots of pain and in the end they will never see you for what you're worth and you'll never be good enough for them. It's not because you're a bad person. It's because they just won't be blessed enough to see you for who you really are. 

Lesson Three: If someone isn't there for you, and I mean REALLY there for you in your time of need, when you're struggling to find yourself, when you need the most encouragement, they sure as hell don't belong in your life when you've figured it all out. You deserve better than to have seasonal friends, family, lovers. You deserve someone who sees your potential at every moment of your struggles and sticks by you till you've accomplished your goals. Given that you're not a shitty seasonal friend either of course. 

Lesson Four: Forgive. Forgive. Forgive. NEVER forget. You forgive because it helps YOU live a happier life . You don't forget so that YOU never make the same mistakes again and so that YOU never allow whoever wronged you to wrong YOU again. It's all about you honey... Selfish as it is. But you end up in a coffin alone, so you better make right with yourself before you think of others. Forgiving takes away the burden of pain. Not forgetting makes you smarter next time you find yourself in a similar situation. You can even be friendly with those who've wronged you, but keep in mind what they've done. Life is a cycle. You never know when they'll pull the same shit on you, so be prepared and learn from the past. 

Lesson Five. God is a comfort we forget to indulge in. Don't forget to speak to your Creator. No matter your religion. No matter what your idea of God is. Speak to Him/Her/IT. You'll feel comforted knowing that there IS a greater power out there and that this world isn't just a chaotic sandbox. It is selfish to think that we're the greatest beings out there. Not all that is in existence can be seen with the naked eye. Sometimes seeing with your heart gives you the clearest vision. Use your heart's ability to see and give your eyes a rest from time to time. Let your soul find comfort in its Creator. 

Lesson Six: Don't argue with people who are obviously not willing to listen. State facts. Then walk away like a boss. Do this whenever you feel like you're digging yourself into a deep hole that will just keep getting deeper with every stupid remark your opponent makes. I've learned this by arguing for the sake of one of my most valued beliefs; feminism. Believe it or not there are many males and females out there who have yet to actually understand the concept of "equality between the sexes". They think it means giving all women gender reassignment surgeries. Lol, right? So yea. Don't argue with people who don't know what they're talking about. Like I said, state facts, and let them bark up a tree. You won't be there to hear it. 

Lesson Seven: Politicians are all the same, for the most part. They want your vote and they want your money but have very little to offer in return. Be careful when voting. Be careful when donating. Be careful when volunteering for their campaigns, if you choose to. Keep an eye out for their contradictory behavior. They say a lot and do very little. Sometimes it's not their fault but the fault of the whole governing system. If YOU want change then YOU do something about it. Don't wait for politicians to do jack shit. Because they won't. 

Lesson Eight: Racism is still a thing and will most probably forever stay a thing. And this isn't just white and black. It's every single race, religion, skin color, sexual orientation, nationality, etc etc etc... Humans have a tendency to be closed minded. It has gotten better, but it is naive to think racism will ever be completely eliminated. De jure? Yes for sure. De facto, nope. Won't happen. 

Lesson Nine: Religion and faith are not, and will never be the same. You can have one and not the other. You can have religion but lack faith. You can have faith and choose not to have religion. Religion is an establishment set by people to control faith. Faith is meant to be between you and your Lord. The moment you feel like there's a third party is when it becomes religion.  If you choose to be part of a religion, make sure that YOU have reasons for being part of that establishment. But again, if you feel like there are people influencing your decisions and that others' opinions have become more important to you than your actual faith then back track and ask YOURSELF why you believe in what you do. Don't let anything discourage you from having faith. Especially not people around you. 

Lesson Ten: Love is the most beautiful feeling you can ever have. If you have it, keep it. But never let yourself be hurt by it. It's beautiful when it's easy. When the person you love is willing to work with you and not against you. When they want your happiness and you want theirs. Love is beautiful when it's pure. Don't waste your time on bootlegged love. You're the best. The person you love is the best. Make sure that the love you give, and receive, is the best too. 

Those are all the lessons I can think of off the top of my head. Hope everyone has a blessed new year. And as always, peace and much love to y'all ❤️