In Honor of a Great & Wise Man: Malcolm X (El Hajj Malik El-Shabaz)

"Nobody can give you freedom. Nobody can give you equality or justice or anything. If you're a man, you take it."

I never learned about Malcolm X in school. His name was brought up once or twice, always followed by stern adjectives. If it were up to my free public education in Virginia, I would’ve always thought Malcom X to be a man who believed that coexistence was impossible. This portrayal of Brother Malcolm was of course followed (if ever even mentioned) by lessons on Martin Luther King Jr’s peaceful and loving legacy. The contrast was apparent. School taught me that Malcolm X was a villain while Martin Luther King was the only good guy.

It was only upon reading the autobiography of Malcolm X that I began to realize how cheated I was out of learning about an important figure in American history. Public schools withheld the legacy of a man who fought for equality, not just on a racial level, but on a religious level as well. Malcolm X’s conversion to Islam was the start of his journey to a more open and inclusive vision of humanity. Yes, he was a controversial figure as a result of his involvement in the Nation of Islam at first, but what many don’t know is that he left that close minded philosophy and became part of mainstream Islam; a religion that preaches equality across religious and racial lines.  

I don’t know the exact reasons why educators decided to undermine Malcolm X’s efforts in building a stronger and more tolerant American public, but I have a feeling it goes back to him being a Muslim man. At least that’s the reason administrators in a state like Virginia might base their decision off of. The fact that he was an influential Muslim man might scare some far right conservatives and speaking of his legacy might be viewed as “Muslim propaganda”.  Angry parents might call schools asking why teachers are “indoctrinating” their children. Instead of realizing that a figure such as Malcolm could bring together a nation that has marginalized a portion of its citizens (and by that I mean Muslims), it is instead decided upon to throw Malcolm’s legacy to the side.  

As an American Muslim, I would like to see students learn as much about Malcolm X as they learn about Martin Luther King Jr. Muslims have been, and still are, a part of American society. We contribute to it, live in it, pay taxes, but hardly get represented. Like Malcolm X, we are undermined and ignored. That is until a Muslim commits an act of terror. Then you can be rest assured the media will educate you enough on the matters of Muslims. Just keeping it real.

Peace and much love to y’all.   

Hijabi On Campus

I recently saw a video on Buzzfeed created by a group of African American students at UCLA's law school, describing how it feels to be at a school which is predominantly white. Now I know this is a touchy subject at a campus like James Madison University’s, but that video inspired me share my thoughts on this matter. This is not my opinion on the admission’s process or any type of affirmative action policy JMU might or might not abide by.

First let me introduce myself. I'm a nineteen year old Muslim American woman. I’m a hijabi, meaning I wear the hijab (or scarf) to cover my hair. I was born and raised in the United States, but my parents emigrated here from Egypt twenty years ago. I'm from Harrisonburg, Virginia. My dad works here as a computer science professor. My mother works at a day care center. I'm a sophomore on a full merit scholarship thanks to the Dingledine's, and I'm double majoring in political science and international relations. I'm fluent in both English and Arabic (although I find it easier to communicate in English).  

The reason why I gave you that little excerpt describing who I am is to then explain how it feels to be a racial/religious/ethnic minority, a feeling most JMU students might not be able to relate to. Picture yourself in a constant struggle to prove people wrong and you might have a slight understanding of how I feel. No I’m not oppressed. Yes I speak English. No I wasn’t born across the Atlantic. No I’m not a close minded conservative. Yes you can approach me same as you can approach anyone else. No I’m not an international student. The list goes on and on. You might not consciously have these questions but how I’m treated on campus by many students definitely reflects such thoughts. I’ve had people tell me “oh you don’t seem like the typical Arab”. To which I’m left wondering what exactly is the typical Arab and how will a person born and raised here know what that is. I’ve also been told I don’t dress like a lot of Muslim hijabi girls and that I’m more “fashionable”. Again this alludes to some kind of assumption that Muslim girls and fashion don’t mix. I understand these misconceptions come from people not personally knowing Muslim girls, but come on now…We’re all in college and should know better than to say these things.

I also often find myself in situations where it seems as if people are scared to approach me. I feel isolated, misunderstood and sometimes uncomfortable on such a huge campus. I’m a pretty social person and I approach people quite often, more than people have ever approached me, so I don’t blame myself for how I feel. Not only that, but I feel like I have to represent the American Muslim woman in the best way I can because I don’t have much help on this campus in that regard. I personally know of three other American Muslim hijabis on campus, while the rest are international students. I not only have to maintain my personal image, but the image of women in my community. I have to break people’s misconceptions and be a good representative of girls like me.

The difficulty doesn’t only stem from my responsibility to represent Muslim women, but also from an internal struggle. It’s hard waking up every morning and looking in the mirror thinking “look how different I am from all my classmates”. Different is good as long as people understand you, but it becomes a hassle when you feel like people aren’t approaching because you’re different from them. It’s also hard holding on to your identity and beliefs around people who have a completely different outlook on life and know little to nothing about your experience. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very proud of who I am and I try to educate people as much as I could, but I would also like for  people to take it upon themselves to learn about those around them. Reaching out to others will broaden your horizons and introduce you to people of many backgrounds, so don’t hesitate to strike up a conversation with a stranger. Everyone should feel welcome on their campus, but reality is, if you’re a minority you’ve probably felt quite the opposite at times. Some argue that subcultures don’t assimilate well, but the other side of that story is sometimes we’re not allowed to fully assimilate because of how we’re viewed. 

Moody Confession

I go through periods of severe moodiness. Sometimes it's pms and sometimes it's just because my brain decides to ruin my mood. Either way, I've been having a lot of trouble with my little situation. The smallest things will put me in the worst of moods to the point where I'll either start punching things or crying. It's very unhealthy because it not only affects me but affects those around me. My demeanor and actions are severely influenced by my moods, so you can only imagine what my loved ones put up with when I'm moody. 

I'm not quite sure how to manage my moods and actions so that one is not so greatly affected by the other. I can, for the most part, fake being ok but the facade quickly slips when I interact with people who are very close to me. I don't mean to be hurtful or angry and I do recognize my attitude as a problem, but I can't for the life of me know what's wrong. Maybe it's me being childish or immature, but I'm gonna turn twenty in a few months and it's not gonna be so good carrying that attitude into adulthood. It seems much easier said than done to just stop being moody and get on with life. It definitely sounds easy to me when I'm in a good mood- it's when I'm in a horrible state of mind that moving on seems impossible. I'm not sure who to turn to for this or if this is just something I'll grow out of, but talking about it is definitely therapeutic. 

If you're going through this or know of a way to quickly snap out of your tantrum like moods please let me know. I'll greatly appreciate it. I've tried everything from stress balls to breaking pencils and I still find myself stuck in this annoying cycle of moodiness. So yea....

Peace and much love to y'all 

My Opinion on the Egyptian "Situation"

It seems like Egypt has been all over the news for the past three years. And for good reason.  Egypt’s a mess. Whether you’re an Egyptian or just a person who follows the news, you know how unstable Egypt has been. Being an Egyptian American makes it especially hard no to get caught up in the black hole that is now Egyptian politics.Three years after the revolution, Egypt still seems to be fighting the same battle. I’ve been to Egypt twice in the last three years and many times before the revolution and I can honestly say that the country now is worse than it has ever been.

Let me break it down for you. After Mubarak, Egypt’s former dictator, was ousted, the Egyptian military ruled what was an interim government. During that period, many political parties formed or regained their vigor with the hope that democracy will allow them to pursue their political goals. The Egyptian people were impatient and protested against the military’s rule of Egypt. “Down, down with military rule” was the chant that I and many others took to the streets with.Mubarak was just another army general after all, and repeating the same mistake of trusting the military was something Egyptians were not willing to do. Back in 2011 that is. Anyway, one of the political groups that rose to power during that period was the Muslim Brotherhood. Yes, and who are they exactly you might ask? Well, the Muslim Brotherhood, or MB, is an old Egyptian political party that was founded on basic Islamic principles. They aren’t extremists, but they’re also not the most liberal, as with most religious political organizations out there.

Nonetheless, the MB gained a lot of supporters and won Egypt’s first democratic and fair presidential elections, making Morsy Egypt’s first democratically elected president.  I was there when Morsy won and the happiness and hope people had regarding the new president was at an all-time high. Of course not everyone agreed with the MB or Morsy and I myself was hesitant about the dangerous mixture of religion and politics especially that Egypt has a considerable Coptic population, and did not want the MB in power during such a critical time for Egypt.

A year or so passed and Egypt’s thirty years of corruption weren’t magically fixed. What strikes me as most detrimental to the Egyptian revolution (the failed revolution) is that people were not patient and expected results from Morsy right away. They hadn’t even let him finish his four year term when again Egyptians took to the streets in June of 2013 and gave what the military called “permission” to throw him out of office. Soon afterwards, none other than the military took over Egypt again in what many described as a military coup and the head of the military, General Sisi, is “running” for president in the upcoming elections. An election in which there will probably be no opposition.

Even more concerning is the fact that many anti-military protesters have died, with around 50 people dying on the revolution’s third anniversary due to clashes with police and army forces. The MB has been since called a terrorist group and any outward support for them may lead to police brutality or a jail sentence. What’s even more baffling is the number of Egyptians who support the military after all the blood shed they’ve caused. 

Still, I have hope for Egypt. Hope that one day the poor and powerless will have a say in their future. That religion won’t be used as a political tool to gather votes and neither will the media use people’s ignorance to their advantage. Times like these are when I most appreciate being an American. I can voice my opinions with a greater amount of freedom than almost anywhere else. I just hope one day that freedom can be extended to people all over the world.  

Peace and much love to y'all :) 

Welcome to Nowhere: Part One

Welcome to nowhere. 

A hand extends itself to me. I see no facial features. Just a half naked body. A male. His voice as comforting as sunsets in July. I take his hand. 

Welcome to nowhere. 

You don't know me. As a matter of fact you don't even know yourself as well as you should. You're a nobody. 

Where am I?

Welcome to nowhere. 

You're trapped. You don't know where to go. These walls are limiting. Your heart chains you down within them. You find comfort in your bondage.

Where am I?

Welcome to nowhere. 

I look around, my toes delving deep into warm sand. I see waves. I hear them crashing. I hear screams in the distance. Help!!!!!

Where am I?

Welcome to nowhere. 

I see people drowning. We should help them. Look! You can't hear their screams? Let's go help them please. Can you swim?

Where am I?

Welcome to nowhere. 

We walk across the sand until we reach heavy forestation. There're trees everywhere but no birds in sight. No chirping. No leaves rustling. 

Where am I? 

Welcome to nowhere. 

We allow the trees to devour us as we walk along a jagged path. I begin to see movement in the trees. I begin to hear a soft slithering. A poisonous yet entrancing hiss. Snakes. 

Where am I? 

Welcome to nowhere. 

The snakes come in closer. They're beautiful. Elegant. Sly. Their eyes all on me, still hissing as if hungry. I can't help but be mesmerized. Their hissing provides a comfort in this unknown place. A familiar and repetitive noise.

Where am I?

Welcome to nowhere. 

We move out the forest and onto an empty plain. I see nothing except a throne with a man sitting on top. God like. A king. Proud. In his hands he holds a key. Plays around with it, amused by how it turns and slides through his fingers. He smiles. 

Where am I?

Welcome to nowhere. 

The king is crowned with a water droplets. Not sweat. Tears align themselves across his head like a halo. Entwined with intricate gold. This is laughter, the man holding my hand says. He is crowned with tears and laughter. 

Where am I? 

Welcome to nowhere

My Culture: Muslim, American and Female

There’s been a noteworthy discussion on social media and other media outlets on a subject that’s dear to my heart. Muslims in America. Specifically Muslim American women and their place in western culture.  I was very intrigued by this discussion and was actually quite excited. Thoughts like “finally someone noticed us” and “took long enough” ran through my head.

If you hadn’t guessed yet, I’m talking about the mipsterz video. A video depicting young Muslim women wearing hijabs while in tune with western culture and Jay Z’s “Somewhere in America” playing in the background.  The video was discussed by Muslims and non-Muslims alike, but for some reason I’ve seen more negativity towards it from Muslims. To me the video was empowering. These young women were enjoying themselves. Muslim Americans who represented both their Islamic and western cultures. I saw myself in those girls. The energy, the youthfulness, the desires and goals they have I share too.

But we also share the same struggles. Being a Muslim woman in America means every move you’re making is being watched. People are interested in your hijab. Are you oppressed? Are you quiet? Do you  have a voice? A free mind? Are you allowed to have fun? On the other hand, Muslims are also watching you. Do you wear a hijab? If not why don’t you? If you do then why aren’t you doing it “right”? Are you Muslim enough? It’s unfortunate to say I’ve got more hate from Muslims than I’ve ever got from non-Muslims. People discuss a Muslim women’s wardrobe like it’s gonna solve the Palestinian-Israeli conflict. Suddenly the pants you wear are more important to others than what’s in your heart. You get judged and looked up and down at for the most mundane choices. Instead of realizing that religion is a journey and we’re all on different parts of said journey, some like to belittle your efforts. They want you to be perfect as if they’ve reached perfection themselves. They want to see a woman who lives by the Quran word for word when reality is that’s not easy at all. What many Muslims don’t realize is that if you’ve been born and brought up in a western culture your mannerism and clothes will reflect that. You become a member of two cultures. You’re Muslim AND western, and that’s not wrong or something I’d ever be ashamed of. America raised me. My parents raised me. And you cannot expect to find traces of one and not the other in my character and way of life.

Muslim American women do exist. We’re different. We dress, act, speak, and express ourselves differently. But we’re also tied together by our religion and our American identity. And it’s that tie that should make us more tolerant of each other and more understanding of one another’s struggles. We’re all trying to find ourselves. No matter the race, religion, gender or age, we are all trying our best to figure ourselves out before our time is over. The Muslim American woman is also trying to figure herself out and has a culture of her own.  It’s time she’s recognized by both the Muslim and non-Muslim worlds.  We exist. Get over it.

And don’t kill our vibe.

Peace and much love to y’all <3  

Words can hurt, so think before you speak

Love yourself :) 

It never fails to surprise me when people act in heinous ways, say nasty words, and degrade others all to feel more powerful. And to be honest, it happens to me often by the closest of people.  It’s questionable whether or not those individuals had horrible childhoods or suffer from personality disorders, but what I can be sure of is no matter how many times I’ll repeat the saying “sticks and stones may hurt my bones” words always seem to get the best of me.

It might be my lack of emotional strength or my naivety, but I am always susceptible to things as simple as words and can dwell on the mean things people say for days, weeks, even months. Is it fair I have to go through that? No it’s not. But then again, when was life ever fair. That fact does not justify people’s disgusting actions though.

My advice to you is to think before you speak. No matter the mood you’re in, or the situation around you, it shouldn't be that you have to hurt others emotionally or physically to get your point across. It does not make you powerful to have the upper hand or cause emotional distraught to others. It makes you weak. It makes you a victim of your own self-hatred and it lessens the respect people have for you. It’s a golden rule; treat others the way you want to be treated. When’s the last time you wanted someone to treat you like you’re worthless? When’s the last time you thought to yourself “I wish someone would punch me in the face”? I would hope never. So don’t do to others what you’d hate to see done to yourself. Because what goes around comes around. And karma’s a bitch who won’t for a second hesitate to bark up your alley.   

If you’re a victim of such treatment, I would hope that you realize your worth and appreciate your intelligence, creativity and sovereignty. And most importantly, love yourself.   

Peace and much love to all of y’all <3