I want to escape these feelingsI swear the more I ignore them the more they be eatin
Away at my soul and these voices in my head getting louder
It's out of control
If I reach out you start saying why you playing a victim
You think if I could get rid of these feelings I wouldn't evict em?
Like I enjoy feeling broken and under the weather
And my mom hasn't talked to me in what seems like forever
Doors shutting in my face
Where's the comfort I need when I seek it?
I don't know if God left me or was it me that walked away
Tried everything to feel better but it only led me astray
Asking myself questions like if I had a gun would I put it to my head or what I sleep with it
And if I had a razor would I cut deep or would I deal with it
Prescription pills all over my bed stand so if I wanted to I could really just say goodbye
Same way he did but I probably wouldn't be hurting nobody this time
Cuz these friends around me right now but in a couple months they'll forget my existence
Love was conditional
Situational
So why would friends be any better
Looking in the mirror like who is she
I can't recognize myself
I look in my eyes and I see remnants of who I used to be
I want you to remember me
Want you to tell me stories of when I was happy
Want you to hold my hands and caress me
They say what you love ends up destroying you
I'm already destroyed so what more can love really do?
Maybe this poetry can save me
Or maybe these thoughts gon end up enslaving me
Tied down by these invisible ropes so I don't know where to start cutting
My legs shackled to this state of mind so how you suggest I start running?
Maybe it was all for nothing
Cuz I know you'll never understand me
You can never really feel me
All you see is a girl with an unhealthy obsession
And if I try explaining it's like I'm talking to myself
So the voices in my head get even louder
Cuz fuck it, I'm already talking to myself...
