A Month Later

The tears that took me to sleep still stain my cheeks

The mascara still on my pillow case

From a month ago when you left forever

When I was made to feel easy to replace

A month later and I’m still wondering how your heart could betray me so

As if my love to you was worthless, nothing

You ask why it’s hard for me to let go

Tell a child their imaginary friend is and was never real

Such was the place I held for you

Perfection only my imagination could create and love only Disney characters knew

A month later and I still dream

Hope

Wonder

A month later and still ink, tears and blood have spilled for you

But it was only a summer’s dream extended too far

Sweet lies freckled with unseen truths

The reason behind your sudden goodbye

A summer’s dream, a summer’s dream….

A month ago when I realized the warmth I felt embraced by was never more than ice,

A glacier I had failed to see,

Now a month later I realize the devil wears the best disguise

No. The devil wasn’t you. 

The devil was love that came to me so pure

But still a month later and it’s still hard to believe this love wasn’t true

Those words you said

The pain you caused

My love was strong enough to endure

A month later my prayer is still maybe one day

I still say inshallah and I know he’s not so bad

While I sit to ponder

Wonder

Was it all a waste?

Those feelings I gave to you?

Should I regret that summer’s day?

That winter love?

Followed by a spring’s decay?

A month later and enough for you isn’t anywhere near enough for me

And I’m left with the knowledge that I gave my first love to you

That my innocence was pried away from my heart

As forcefully as flowers bloom

A month later and sometimes I can’t help but think you weren’t worth the effort

Said forever but forever ended way too soon

With memories I’ll never forget of the darkness you forced me into

Tunnels with no end in sight

Because a month later I can swear my love is true

And all I have is we didn’t see eye to eye and my heart told me to leave you behind

It was a summer’s dream

And you became its nightmare

A nightmare so sweet I can’t seem to let it go

So how can you blame me for loving you?

Wasn’t that the point all along?

But a month later I see my emotions are still as strong as fourteen months ago

While yours cower in comparison with proof in the words you speak

A month later and my love’s still yours to keep

While yours has fled to lands I only reach when I close my eyes to sleep

A month later and I still can’t accept this goodbye

A month later...